Only A Kiss From Home
by intolauren
Summary: Oliver and Felicity are both as reluctant to end their vacation and return home as each other. So once their slightly extended trip has to come to an end, will life back in Starling City make them stronger or force them apart?
1. Chapter 1

**My first ever Olicity fic... I am so nervous about the reaction I might get because I'm so used to PLL and HSM and I never thought I'd try something new. But Oliver and Felicity have recently become my favourite ship in the entire universe and I've had so many fic ideas floating around in my head for weeks now that I just couldn't not write something. I don't know where I'm going to go with this story yet but I just had to get some ideas down somewhere and voila! This is what I came up with.**

 **I hope you enjoy this; please feel free to leave reviews, good or bad! xo**

* * *

"Okay so I have a proposition for you,"  
"You know I love a good proposition,"  
Oliver laughed softly under his breath, gazing down at Felicity whose head remained buried in her book even as she spoke, her eyes never once leaving the page. Her golden blonde hair was splayed out over her back, blowing gently in the ocean breeze, her head rested in her hands as she read. Her usual porcelain skin was now brilliantly tanned, almost sparkling in the sunlight after weeks of beach days and hikes and adventures underneath the hot sun of the Indonesian summertime.  
"How about we just never go back home?" Oliver asked, pulling himself out of his internal monologue, the same monologue he had found himself in many times during the trip; his mind almost reflexively turning Felicity into poetry whenever he looked at her for too long.  
Felicity glanced up from her book and smiled.  
"That's not a great proposition, Oliver. I mean, in my experience, a proposition should include deep thought on both the pros and cons and perhaps requires a few days to mull over in careful scrutiny. What you just gave to me was nothing short of a rhetorical question. Meaning the only answer I could possibly give is ' _do you really need me to answer that?'_ "  
Oliver laughed again and laid down on his back next to Felicity.  
"I'm serious… we could just never go back you know?" he said, thoughtfully, twirling a piece of Felicity's hair around his index finger.  
Closing her book Felicity rested her head on Oliver's shoulder.  
"You know, most of the time you start sentences with ' _I'm serious'_ , you're really not serious at all," she said, quietly, matter of factly, closing her eyes and relishing in the warm sunshine on her face.  
Oliver closed his eyes too and wrapped his arm around her. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, both just completely comfortable in each other's presence and silence.  
"You miss Thea, Oliver. And she misses you. And I was texting Dig yesterday and he misses you too! As much as it killed him to admit it," Felicity giggled.  
Oliver smiled and kissed the top of Felicity's head.  
"I know, I do miss them, you're right. But when we go home, I'll miss this even more," he replied, tracing his fingers softly up and down her ribcage.  
Feeling her smile into his shoulder, he shifted slightly causing her to lift up her head briefly. Oliver seized the opportunity to slip a finger under her chin and turn her head to face him. Felicity closed her eyes instinctively as Oliver pulled her slowly to him and kissed her softly on the lips. Oliver had kissed her a hundred times before but each time their lips pressed together, it still took Felicity's breath away. The simple fact that they were here, together, finally, would probably always feel slightly surreal.  
"Love you," she whispered into his mouth, before kissing him back.  
His arms tightened around her in response and his lips moved from hers to the top of her head once again.  
"Love you too," he whispered back.  
A few minutes passed as they held each other, listening to the crash of the ocean.  
"Okay this is very lovely, but I'm absolutely starving," Felicity said all of a sudden, sitting up and wrapping her jacket around her shoulders.  
Oliver laughed, sitting up too.  
"Of course you are," he chuckled, watching her as she stood up and began to brush sand from her legs.  
"Where shall we eat tonight?" she asked as she picked up her book and slipped it into her bag.  
"Your choice," he replied, standing up.  
"You're sure there isn't a Big Belly Burger on this beautiful island of Bali, right?"  
Oliver laughed loudly and pulled her into him for a hug.  
"I'm sure," he grinned. "But there is a very delicious place down the street from the hotel that might just be better than Big Belly Burger,"  
Felicity laughed too.  
"I'm sold already," she giggled, taking Oliver's hand as they walked up the beach towards the hotel.

* * *

"How do I look?" Felicity asked Oliver, exiting the bathroom and twirling around on the spot, smiling.  
Oliver knew the answer before even looking at her but he looked anyway, as he always did, because looking at her was one of his favourite things.  
Felicity took his breath away on a daily basis and this was no exception. She stood leaning against the doorway in a deep red dress that ended at her shins and glazed her every curve tightly, gliding over her body as though the dress was designed for no one else in the world except her. Her long, blonde hair was left natural, delicate waves cascading down past the plunging neckline of her dress, perfectly revealing her chest, to her waist where it settled against her, the blonde colour a dazzling contrast against the tanned skin of her arms and the dark red of her dress. Her toned calves were on full display thanks to the pair of silver heels she wore, the straps framing her ankles and her plum painted toes. Her makeup was soft over her cheeks and eyes, drawing the attention directly to her crimson lips, almost the same shade of lipstick as her dress. For the first time during their trip she'd opted for her glasses rather than contact lenses, something Oliver absolutely adored. As well as her glasses she also accessorised her outfit with silver bracelets, rings and the necklace Oliver had bought for her a few days ago; a silver chain with a delicate arrow pendant hanging from it.  
There weren't words in any language to describe how incredibly beautiful she looked.  
"Earth to Oliver," Felicity giggled, waving her hand in front of Oliver's face.  
Oliver smiled sheepishly, peeling his eyes from her to glance at the floor, blushing.  
"Sorry, you just… dazzled me a little," he laughed.  
"I'll take that as a compliment?"  
"Please do. You look…,"  
"Dazzling?"  
"Indeed," Oliver laughed again, leaning in to kiss Felicity's cheek.  
"Hey! Watch the makeup!" she exclaimed, jokingly pushing Oliver backwards.  
Within seconds Oliver had taken her arm, twisted it gently but firmly around and pressed her against the wall. Their faces were millimeters apart, Felicity's breath caught in her throat, startled by Oliver's sudden movement. She exhaled deeply, her own turn to smile sheepishly.  
"I sometimes forget you're like, really strong,"  
Oliver laughed and released her arm but kept their faces close.  
"What, after all those hours you must have spent watching me pull myself up and down the salmon ladder, you somehow still forget how I strong I am?" he teased, his hands sliding around Felicity's waist to caress her bare back.  
"I'm sorry if I've never been in a workplace where it's the norm to be shirtless and sweaty as often as you are. I mean, I bet even Diggle catches himself staring once or twice," she replied, wrapping her own arms around Oliver's neck, nuzzling her nose against his chest.  
"I'm sure he does," Oliver chuckled, kissing the top of Felicity's head.  
"I don't even think I want to go out for dinner anymore," Felicity mumbled into Oliver's chest, curling her fingers into his hair that had grown considerably over the course of their vacation.  
"Are you sure?"  
Felicity thought for a moment.  
"Okay well maybe we could just have a quick dinner,"  
Oliver smiled into her hair, sliding his hands over her butt, squeezing it softly.  
"Oliver, you're not helping," Felicity laughed.  
"I'm not sorry," he grinned.  
"Don't be," she smirked back, lifting her head from his chest to face him.  
Oliver was about to kiss her when she pressed a finger to his lips.  
"Don't you dare ruin my lipstick,"  
"Or what?" Oliver teased, licking his lips.  
"You'll see later," she flirted back, stepping away from him swiftly.  
Picking up her purse, Felicity glanced at her reflection in the mirror.  
"You still look dazzling," Oliver said matter of factly, leaning down to kiss her shoulder.  
"Thank you, Mr Queen," Felicity smiled.  
"I'm still thinking about ruining that lipstick, by the way,"  
Felicity laughed as she headed towards the door.  
"Oh I'd like to see you try," she teased, opening the door and gesturing for Oliver to exit first.  
"This isn't over,"  
"I sincerely hope it's not," Felicity smirked, closing the door behind them and slipping her hand naturally into Oliver's as though she'd done it everyday of her life.

* * *

Oliver and Felicity were halfway through dinner, and halfway through a bottle of wine when Oliver suddenly put down his knife and fork and looked over at Felicity.  
"I need to ask you something," he simply said.  
Felicity finished the remaining drops of wine in her glass before gesturing for him to continue.  
"Don't worry, it's nothing bad," Oliver smiled, sensing Felicity's anxiety.  
Immediately she relaxed again and smiled back.  
"Sorry, it's just the first time we ever went on a date sticks in my mind involuntarily and when you look seriously at me like that, I just panic a little automatically,"  
Oliver leaned over and began to refill her glass with wine.  
"Yeah, our first date was… eventful," he chuckled.  
"So what's up?" she asked, taking a sip from her newly filled glass.  
Oliver leaned back in his chair.  
"I just… what I asked earlier on the beach… I just don't want to lose this when we go home. I don't want to have to schedule you in between other things or share you with anyone or not have time to just go out for dinner whenever we feel like it. We've been here for 6 weeks now and I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. I don't want to lose this, any of this," Oliver sat up and took Felicity's hand in his.  
She smiled, rubbing her thumb over his.  
"Oliver, you won't ever lose this. We just have to adapt this so it stays _this_. No one can stay on vacation forever, not even Oliver Queen. But just because we go home, doesn't mean any of this has to change. I mean, obviously the beach walks and date nights and expensive dinners have to change, but not _this_. Not us. Not ever,"  
"I know…" Oliver was still not convinced and the tone of his voice broke Felicity's heart.  
"Stop it, Oliver. Stop thinking that life is going to get in the way. Stop thinking that everything ends. I know life has sucked for you for a long time and you have every right to flip off the world at every opportunity. But not everyone leaves, I promise. I love you and you aren't going to lose me, no matter what,"  
Oliver stared at his plate, refusing to look at Felicity for fear that she would see in his eyes how afraid he was.  
"Oliver, look at me, please. It's okay. I promise I'm not going to leave you,"  
"What makes you so sure?" Oliver whispered, barely meeting her eyes.  
"Well, in case you haven't noticed, I am absolutely in love with you,"  
Oliver met her gaze then.  
"You are?" he stuttered.  
"Duh, of course I am. I mean, this isn't exactly how I wanted to tell you, angrily in the middle of a ridiculously overpriced restaurant with wine that isn't even that great, but there you go,"  
Oliver smiled and finished his wine.  
"You're right about the wine," he said.  
Felicity rolled her eyes.  
"Is that it?"  
Oliver took out his wallet and left a bunch of notes on the table.  
"Let's get out of here,"  
"But I haven't had dessert yet!"  
"Felicity, I want to take you home and answer your question there,"  
Felicity saw his eyes darken and butterflies fluttered in her stomach.  
"Well can we at least order frozen yogurt later?" she smiled, standing up.  
"Later, we can do whatever you like. Just please, can we go now?"  
He took her hand and pulled her away from the table. Felicity's overexadggerated sigh was all the response Oliver needed.  
"With fruit and chocolate sauce?" she added with a grin, as Oliver practically dragged her out of the restaurant.  
They were barely outside when Oliver pulled her towards him and kissed her hard on the mouth.  
"Oliv… m… lipst…" Felicity mumbled into his mouth.  
Oliver kissed her harder in response, sliding his tongue into her mouth. Felicity practically melted as his tongue filled her mouth and she wrapped her arms around his waist.  
They kissed breathlessly for almost a minute before Felicity pulled back.  
"Oliver, we're in a parking lot," she laughed, inhaling as much air as she could.  
Oliver intertwined their fingers and rested his forehead against hers.  
"And I think you're wearing more lipstick than I am now," she added, giggling softly.  
Oliver sniggered, lifted his head from hers and pouted at her, causing Felicity to laugh out loud.  
"What do you think of my new look?" he joked, still pouting.  
"Oliver, stop. I've just had nearly an entire bottle of wine and laughter like this is not helpful when the nearest bathroom is back at the hotel," Felicity buried her head against Oliver's chest so she couldn't see his hilarious expression anymore.  
Oliver swept her up into his arms and Felicity let out a squeal as he carried her across the parking lot.  
"You don't usually carry me like this unless I've been knocked unconscious during an unprovoked or otherwise attack aimed predominantly at The Arrow," she babbled, the wine suddenly seeming to reach her brain causing an attack of the giggles.  
Lolling her head against Oliver's neck she kissed him there, slipping her tongue in and out of her mouth, teasing his hot skin as Oliver's arms wrapped tighter around her, his pace speeding up, getting them back to the hotel in record time.

* * *

Oliver and Felicity barely made it back to the hotel before their lips crashed together again. Oliver walked Felicity backwards as they kissed until she was pressed against the wall again before lifting her arms above her head and holding them there. Keeping her arms held fast Oliver's lips moved to Felicity's neck, kissing and sucking and nibbling her there, sending waves of pleasure along every nerve of her body. Aching to touch him she strained against him, trying to free her arms, moaning with both frustration and delactation.  
"Oliver," she sighed as he moved his mouth from her neck to her chest, following the direction of the fabric of her dress as it gradually descended towards the softly contoured line between her breasts. Letting her arms free, Oliver glided his hands down the sides of her body and whilst still teasing her chest with his mouth, began to slowly slide her dress zipper down.  
Felicity grabbed the bottom of Oliver's shirt, caressing his perfectly toned stomach as she lifted the fabric over his head.  
"Are you- is this okay?" Oliver asked, pausing briefly for her consent before allowing her dress to slip down her body onto the floor.  
"Of course, don't stop," Felicity gasped pulling Oliver's head back to her chest.  
As her dress dropped to the floor Oliver barely gave her time to step out of it before sweeping her up into his arms and onto the bed. Leaving her legs hanging over the edge of the bed, Oliver crouched down between them, scattering kisses down her totally sculpted calves before undoing the buckles on her heels quickly and slipping them off of her feet. Tracing plenty of kisses back up her calves, over her knees and along her thighs, Oliver softly and slowly worked his way back up, taking the time to kiss every inch of her legs.  
"Oliver, I want to kiss you," Felicity moaned, leaning up on her elbows.  
Before she could say anymore Oliver began to trace the fabric of her panties with his mouth, sliding his tongue in and out of his mouth against the satin and lace.  
"Oh, never mind," Felicity mumbled, her arms giving way causing her to fall back again onto the bed.  
Oliver laughed softly, hot air feeling deliciously pleasant between Felicity's legs.  
Oliver began to suck gently, Felicity's body rippling with pleasure. Moving his lips briefly back to her inner thighs, Oliver slipped his fingers underneath the elastic of her underwear, tenderly pulling the delicate material down. Felicity moaned and Oliver felt the muscles in her thighs tighten as he began sucking again now the material was out of the way, encouraging him to tease her more.  
"Mmmmmm, you're like, really good at that," Felicity keened, breathlessly.  
Despite the intensity of the moment, Oliver laughed and looked up to find Felicity giggling too.  
"Did I just say that out loud?" she asked, her cheeks flushing red.  
"You did. And thank you," Oliver smiled, beginning to plant kisses along her hipbones and lower abdomen.  
"You're very welcome," Felicity smiled back running her fingers through Oliver's hair.  
"What do you want?" he mumbled between kisses.  
"You. Always you,"  
"How do you want me? Right now,"  
Felicity sat up quickly and placed her mouth on Oliver's.  
"Right now? Less clothed would be a start," she smirked after a minute or two of kisses, taking his belt in her hands and making quick work of the buckle. He helped her once he was free of his belt, stepping swiftly out of his dress pants he had worn especially for their dinner date. Kneeling on the bed as he stood in front of her she began to kiss his abs, one at a time. As she worked her mouth along his abdomen he played mindlessly with her hair, reveling in the sight of her toned butt on display for him. Felicity must've sensed him staring as she innocently looked up and asked,  
"Enjoying the view?" with a flirtatious flutter of her eyelashes.  
"Spectacular as always," Oliver smirked back, climbing onto the bed and leaning down to place his mouth onto Felicity's.  
He ached to be inside her but he knew like always, the longer it took for her to let him have his way, the more incredible it would feel.  
"Am I frustrating you?" Felicity grinned into his mouth, feeling his hardness pressing against her stomach.  
"You never frustrate me," Oliver mumbled back, kissing her neck, hoping she both could and couldn't hear the sarcasm in his tone. "Except when you speak in technological vocabulary that I really can't understand," he added.  
"You are so adorable," Felicity giggled as he kissed her, stroking her hands up and down his back.  
Oliver moved to kiss down her chest again but before he could Felicity pulled him down on top of her so they were both laying down before rolling them over so she was sitting on his stomach.  
"How about this view?" she asked, gazing down at him from underneath her glasses.  
Oliver traced his fingers over her thighs, tickling her softly.  
"Just as spectacular," he whispered, trailing his fingers up her abdomen towards her breasts.  
Felicity flicked her hair over her shoulders so it wouldn't get in the way of Oliver's hands. Keening with pleasure as she filled his hands, Felicity closed her eyes. Oliver moved one hand from her breast, slipped it around her back and pulled her gently forwards so she was lying on top of him.  
"Can I tell you something?" he asked, moving a strand of hair from her face that had fallen in front of her eye.  
"Of course," Felicity replied, kissing the end of his nose.  
"I wanted to tell you now before we go any further so you'd know it wasn't just a heat of the moment thing and that I actually meant it,"  
She smiled and kissed his chest.  
"I'm sorry for freaking out earlier, I really am. I've just… I mean I've never… I don't,"  
Felicity laughed and said,  
"Do I have to remind you again that I'm usually the one speaking in sentence fragments, not you?"  
Oliver laughed too and let himself relax. Something about her reminded him to do that more often; relax.  
"Basically what I'm trying to say is that you make me really happy, happier than I've ever been and my life has been somehow magical ever since I met you. As demanding and as dangerous as the work we do can be, I'd do it all over again if it meant I could see you everyday and work alongside you and have you help me save the world as you do so well. I'd do it all over again if it meant that one day you'd fall in love with me. And the truth is, Felicity, I'm in love with you too. And if I'm honest, I think I have been ever since I burst into your office as you were chewing on that red pen,"  
Felicity felt tears in her eyes and she stared down at the man beneath her. The bravest and most noble man she had ever had the pleasure of knowing. The strongest and most passionate man she'd ever met. The man who had suffered pain and heartbreak and torture time and time again yet still fought endlessly for the lives of others. The man who had no reason to believe in anyone, yet somehow opened himself up and believed in her more than anyone ever had. The man who over the last three years had become her best friend, her lover and everything in between.  
Unable to respond in words Felicity simply kissed Oliver, passionately, letting him inside her as she did so.  
The sun began to rise around them as they chased their release together, knowing somehow that no two people had ever fit together so perfectly before them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Considering the unbelievable writing flunk I have been in for the majority of the last 14/15 months, I can't believe how much I'm enjoying writing again and how easily the words are flowing the way they used to! I guess all I needed was a brand new ship to obsess over to get my creative juices flowing again (that expression is officially gross though). This is the last chapter with Oliver and Felicity on vacation before they head back home so I really enjoyed sinking my teeth into this one and making it as fluffy and romantic as possible.**

 **I hope you enjoy! Feel free to leave a little review if you like xo**

* * *

"I can't believe it's our last night here," Oliver whispered, mindlessly twirling a strand of Felicity's hair around his finger.

Felicity sighed and buried her head under Oliver's chin, stroking her thumb against his arm.

The sun was just beginning to set and the view from the top of the cliff which they'd hiked up to was breathtaking. The hike hadn't been too strenuous and they hadn't said much, both of them wrapped up inside their own thoughts of what life would be like once they got back to Starling City.

Felicity knew Oliver didn't ever want to go home, he'd said so enough times and brought up the idea of them staying where they were at least once a day. And as much as Felicity would have loved nothing more than to stay inside her little bubble of happiness with Oliver for the rest of her life, she missed home and she missed work and she missed the life of the city that seemed thousands and thousands of miles away. The longer they stayed away, the harder it would be to transition back to "reality" and the last thing Felicity wanted was for Oliver to struggle and disassociate the way he had when he'd come back from spending 5 years on the island.

"It's going to be okay," she promised him, kissing his neck softly.

She'd said that a lot over the last few weeks and it probably meant nothing to Oliver anymore but she believed it so deeply inside her that it seemed to be the only thing that made sense to her.

"You sure I can't persuade you to stay just a little longer?" he asked, as he always did.

"Oliver, if I stay here any longer I swear I won't be able to remember how to turn on a computer," she laughed.

She felt him chuckle and smiled into his chest.

"Well, I suppose we wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"Absolutely not, I mean, how ever would you manage without me and my technological brain?"

Oliver tightened his grip around her and hugged her closer to him.

"I don't even want to think about that, ever," he whispered, kissing the top of her head.

Neither of them spoke for a long while after that, and Felicity knew fine well he was thinking about exactly the thing he had just said he never wanted to think about. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it tightly, turning her head slightly to enjoy the view. She felt Oliver rest his chin on the top of her head and hoped he would soon realise that he would never have to think about life without her.

The sun was barely visible above the horizon now and the sky was the most perfect palette of pinks, oranges and lilacs she had ever seen. The ocean below them was completely calm, only occasionally making a soft crash against the rockface of the cliffs. A chorus of bird and insect calls echoed from the forest behind them, more variations of chirps and tweets than Felicity thought possible. It was the perfect way to end their vacation; the last 6 weeks were somehow reflected in this moment entirely and she wondered if Oliver felt it too.

"I don't know if your plan is to keep me sitting here until it goes dark so we can't find our way back to the hotel, get very lost trying to navigate the path we came up on and end up having to set up camp in the forest for the rest of our lives, but unless it is, we should probably start heading back," Felicity smiled, leaning out from under Oliver's chin and catching his eye.

"Damn it, you caught me," Oliver laughed, holding his hands up in a mock surrender.

"Oliver, I just want you to know that if I truly believed staying here would be what's best for you, then I would. But it's not and you and I both know that,"

Oliver wrapped his arms around Felicity again.

"I know," he whispered.

"I'd do anything for you, anything to make you so happy all the time. But running away won't make things better, not in the end,"

"I know," he whispered again.

"I love you, Oliver. And I will make it my mission to love you so much that one day you won't ever have to question it again,"

Tilting her head up, she pressed her lips to Oliver's. His response was immediate; he picked her up and placed her on his knee, wrapping her legs around him, never once breaking their kiss. Gliding his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance into her mouth, his hands tangled in her hair as he pulled her even closer to him. Opening her mouth, their tongues collided eagerly, always seeming to seek each other as though their mouths had been apart for months. Oliver leaned backwards until his back was against the ground and Felicity was atop him, her fingers in his hair. Oliver caressed her back, somehow roughly and gently at the same time, dancing his hands up and down her skin underneath her shirt. Felicity was vaguely aware of where they were, outside where anyone could find them, but she also didn't care in the slightest because all she could taste and feel was Oliver and she never wanted to stop. She felt Oliver's hands on her ass, squeezing it tightly and she moaned audibly with pleasure. She moved her mouth from his and began kissing his neck as his hands continued to do marvellous things to her backside. She dug her teeth into Oliver's collarbone and felt him shudder and in response he gripped her harder and Felicity was sure she'd have bruises tomorrow. Suddenly becoming aware of his arousal underneath her, Felicity's hips began to grind against his of their own accord as she moved her mouth swiftly back to his.

"I need you inside me so much," Felicity mumbled into his mouth.

"Right here?" Oliver asked, his voice a combination of shock and pleading.

"Right now," she whispered back.

She felt Oliver smile and opened her eyes questioningly.

"What?" she asked, curious.

"You just continue to amaze and surprise me even after all this time," he replied thoughtfully, bringing his mouth back to hers as he finished his sentence.

Felicity untangled her hands from Oliver's hair and sat up on top of him, her hands hurriedly reaching for the button on his jeans. Once the button was undone he helped her pull them down just enough as was necessary considering where they were. The both knew this had to be quick, but the risk of someone catching them only seemed to heighten their mutual arousal even more. Luckily, Felicity had opted over her jeans for a tennis skirt which was considerably easier to get out of the way and her tiny thong was also no match for Oliver's hands. Felicity felt close to orgasm before he was even inside her, the anticipation reaching almost unbearable intensity as she took hold of his errection and helped him slide into her, making her cry out. Oliver was deliciously large and having him fill her so wholly always took her breath away. Felicity angled her body until he was right where she needed him and began moving her hips rhythmically, her eyes closed as her pleasure built until she reached her peak. Her orgasm rippled through her, long and sweet and she collapsed over Oliver's chest, her entire body writhing with bliss, moaning his name over and over. The sound of his name on her lips and the feel of her warm body pressed against his was all it took for Oliver to follow suit, calling out her name as he came, his fingers digging into her skin.

"I love you so much," he whispered in Felicity's ear, his ragged breathing matching hers as their heart rates gradually began to slow back down again.

Felicity pressed soft kisses to Oliver's chest as he stroked her hair.

"I guessed your plan worked after all," Felicity giggled after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"My plan?"

"Yeah, the one to keep us up here until it went dark so we wouldn't be able to find our way back in time for our flight tomorrow,"

Looking up Oliver actually seemed surprised that it was now almost completely dark around them.

"I didn't even realise how late it had gotten," he laughed.

"Well, you know what they say? Time flies when you're having fun," Felicity kissed the tip of Oliver's nose before standing up and pulling her skirt back into place. Oliver wriggled back into his jeans and Felicity held out her hand to help him up onto his feet.

"Thank you, Miss Smoak," he smiled, kissing her hand.

"The pleasure is all mine, Mr Queen," Felicity giggled, interlacing their fingers.

They took one last look over the ocean, holding tightly to each other's hands, enjoying the cool ocean breeze on their sweaty bodies.

"Ready to head back?" Felicity asked, squeezing Oliver's hand.

Oliver sensed her question was referring to more than just the hike back down to the hotel.

"I'm ready for anything... as long as you don't let go of my hand,"

* * *

It was a steep climb back down to ground level and the forest seemed even thicker now it was enveloped in pitch black darkness; the flashlight on Oliver's phone their only source of light.

They'd been walking for almost an hour so they couldn't be too far from the hotel. Felicity was breathless trying to keep pace with Oliver who seemed to take two steps for every one of Felicity's. If he wasn't holding her hand, practically dragging her along, she'd probably be miles behind.

"Oliver, can we please slow down?" she asked 5 minutes later, wiping her sweat soaked forehead.

"I'd rather we just hurry and get back," he replied, sounding distracted.

"Are you okay?"

"I just... I just want to get back that's all,"

"Oliver, stop. Tell me what's wrong," she pulled on his arm and he turned back to look at her.

"Felicity please," he didn't keep her gaze for long, his eyes scanning their surroundings frantically.

He looked terrified and suddenly, Felicity began to understand why.

"Hey, you're safe, you're okay," she said softly, taking Oliver's other hand in hers.

"I'm not, it's not... you have no idea what's out there!" his voice began to raise and he tried to pull his hands free.

"Oliver, look at me, right at me. Please,"

Reluctantly, Oliver dragged his eyes to meet Felicity's. She took his face in her hands and traced his cheekbones with her fingertips.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, I just... the last time I was anywhere like this in the middle of the night was on the island and I- I don't think I- I just,"

"Shhhhhsh, close your eyes okay? Close your eyes and breathe. Don't do anything else except that," Felicity took a step back and gave him some space but took hold of his hands again.

"I can't, I need to make sure-"

"Oliver, please. Just close your eyes and breathe. It's okay, I promise,"

Felicity could see Oliver's heart pounding through his shirt and his elevated breathing made his chest fall and rise rapidly. She placed her hand on his chest and thankfully, watched as Oliver closed his eyes.

The moment Oliver closed his eyes, his hearing seemed to overcompensate his lack of vision and he swore he could hear all the way to the ocean. The only thing keeping him from a full blown panic attack was Felicity's hand on his chest, an ever present reminder that he wasn't alone anymore. He tried to regulate his breathing as Felicity had told him to but the flashbacks were so vivid he had trouble even staying on his feet.

 _He was running, he didn't know why or who from but he knew that if he stopped running, he would die. He could hear screaming, the only other thing he could hear over his own heart pounding in his ears. He wanted to stop, to turn around and go back but he would die, he knew he would die._

"Oliver, hey, look at me,"

Oliver's eyes snapped open and instead of the horrorful island scene he expected to find himself in again, it was just Felicity, still holding his hand and resting her palm on his chest. He collapsed into her, knowing she wouldn't let him fall and buried his head in her hair, breathing in the sweet coconut scent of her shampoo. He felt her arms wrap tightly around him, one around his waist and the other tracing soft patterns into the back of his neck, something she always did when she knew he was nervous or anxious about something. It took a few seconds for him to notice she was humming quietly, a tune Oliver couldn't quite place but one he knew he'd heard before. He could feel her chest vibrating softly as she hummed and he focused on it, turning off the visions in his mind as best he could, feeling only the sensation of the hum in Felicity's chest. Slowly, his accelerated breathing began to decrease and as it did, so did the ringing in his ears and the pounding of his heart. Felicity was still stroking his neck and humming softly and Oliver couldn't remember the last time anyone had ever been able to calm him down so quickly during a flashback. Pressing a delicate kiss to her neck, he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"What is that song you're humming?" he asked quietly after a few moments, his face still buried in her hair.

"It's by Bon Iver," she whispered, "It's called Calgary,"

"It's gorgeous, where have I heard it before?"

"This is going to sound so silly but sometimes you have nightmares but you don't wake up and it's just something I sing or hum to you to try and make things a little less scary, even though you can't possibly hear me because you're asleep,"

Oliver lifted his head up from Felicity's shoulder and looked at her.

"I'm sorry," Oliver muttered, dropping his gaze from hers to look at the floor, embarrassed that she'd witnessed his nightmares.

"You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Oliver. Are you okay now?" Felicity took his face in hers again and kissed him.

"I think so, thanks to you," he replied after kissing her back.

"I used to have really bad anxiety when I was younger, and my mom and I learned that technique during the few weeks of therapy I had. We'd practice it all the time, both of us, because I felt embarrassed doing it on my own. Even when I wasn't anxious, I practiced it and it helped me access it easier when my brain was in a mess and thinking rationally wasn't an option. It was stupid stuff that gave me anxiety though, tests and social gatherings and being late for work; I didn't go through anything like you did so I don't know if it worked that well but I didn't know what else to do. I just couldn't bear seeing you in so much pain and I would have hated myself if I'd just stood there and done nothing," Felicity took a deep breath at the end of her sentence, as though she'd been unaware of how long she'd been speaking without really remembering to breathe.

"It helped, so much, honestly. And when you started humming too, that also helped so much," he smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead gently.

"I'm glad. It means the hundreds of dollars my mom spent on therapy for me wasn't a complete waste after all. She'd be delighted to hear that,"

"It didn't help you?"

"Nope. In case you haven't realised, Oliver, it's pretty much impossible for me to relax and do nothing because my brain just works about a thousand times faster than the average person. Except sometimes when I'm with you. Sometimes, somehow you remind me to just be here instead of in my head all the time without even saying anything,"

"How come you never told me?"

"It didn't seem like it mattered, that's all. I work better when I'm under pressure anyway and considering I'm practically always tense or on edge, I guess I owe my academic success to anxiety," Felicity smiled and Oliver knew she was being honest; she hadn't kept it from him on purpose, it was simply something she'd learned to accept and be at peace with about herself and he admired her incredibly for that.

"I love you," Oliver said, taking Felicity's hand again.

"I love you too," she replied, letting his fingers intertwine with her own.

They began to walk again, slowly this time now Oliver no longer viewed everything around him as a threat.

Soon enough the trees began to clear and street lights appeared in the near distance, a welcome sign to Oliver that civilisation was never all that far away the whole time after all.

* * *

Back in their hotel room, Oliver and Felicity came to the realisation that they had only hours before they had to head to the airport and they hadn't even begun packing yet.

"You know, missing that flight is starting to sound more and more appealing," Felicity said 15 minutes later, rolling her eyes and she struggled to fit yet another new pair of shoes into her suitcase.

"Perhaps we should have bought an extra suitcase just for your shoes," Oliver teased, his own suitcase zipped up and packed already.

"Or perhaps you should stop buying me things?" Felicity shot back, still battling with the rose gold heels Oliver had surprised her with a few nights ago.

"Never. I like buying you things, it makes me happy,"

"Those four little words will be the death of me," Felicity muttered, a smile creeping across her face involuntarily.

"And probably the death of that suitcase considering there are still three pairs in the closet you've somehow got to fit in there," Oliver added, getting up from the bed and going over to help her.

Felicity groaned loudly and dropped the shoes, collapsing over her brimming suitcase with an elongated sigh.

"On the bright side, at least you have small feet otherwise your case would've been full ages ago,"

"Oh yes, small feet, my most endearing quality," Felicity said sarcastically, her voice muffled due to the fact that her face was pressed against a pile of clothes she'd already managed to cram into her suitcase.

"I can think of a much more endearing one," Oliver smirked and Felicity lifted her head up to look at him.

"Which is?" she challenged.

"Hmmm... what about your overly ticklish shoulders?" he teased, wiggling his fingers with a devilish smile on his face.

"Oliver, don't you dare," Felicity sensed what he was about to do and before he had time to pounce on her she jumped up onto the bed and pulled the comforter over her body for protection.

"Oh however will I get to you now?" Oliver joked, prowling around to the other side of the bed, trying his best to conceal his laughter and remain serious.

"Oliver, please don't!" she squealed from under the covers, curling herself up into a ball.

Feeling the bed move with his weight as he climbed up beside her, Felicity squealed again and tried to roll to the other side, but Oliver was too quick for her and had straddled her legs before she could even begin to move. Pulling the comforter from over her head, Oliver began to tickle her shoulders, laughing at Felicity's attempts to free herself from his grasp.

"Oliver!" she squealed again, her own hands powerless to stop his from making contact with her skin.

"I'll stop if you promise never to be mean and sarcastic about your cute little feet again," he laughed, enjoying himself too much to let her off just yet.

"Okay I promise!" Felicity cried, beginning to laugh, unable to help herself because of how adorably gorgeous Oliver looked on top of her, defending her feet, of all things.

"Promise what?"

"I promise to never say mean and sarcastic things about my cute little feet ever again!" she yelled, bursting into fits of giggles.

"Do you promise you'll keep your promise?" Oliver was laughing hysterically now, the sound of Felicity's laughter warming him inside.

"Yes! Yes! I'll keep my promise, I swear!"

Tears were streaming down Felicity's cheeks from laughing so much by the time Oliver freed her and laid down on his stomach next to her. Oliver leaned down and kissed her shoulders one at a time, something that somehow didn't seem to tickle at all.

"I hate you," she giggled, unable to stop her hands trailing up and down his stomach as she spoke.

"I love you too," Oliver laughed, pressing his lips to hers for perhaps the hundredth time that day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for the reviews, favs and follows so far! Every time I get a little email notification from ff it makes my day so much better. This chapter is a little shorter than the other two and not as free of conflict... but I hope you enjoy it anyway! I leave you with a cliff-hanger but I promise, don't worry tooooo much about it ;) I hope to get the next chapter up this weekend as I've already started writing it but please bear with me; inspiration is hit and miss with me and that's why I never make any promises to upload. Please feel free to leave a review if you want to! xo Lauren. PS. ONE WEEK UNTIL THE NEW SEASON?! WHO ELSE IS ALSO VERY VERY EXCITED?**

* * *

"Home, sweet home,"

Dropping their bags on the floor in the foyer, Oliver and Felicity let themselves into their new home, one they'd purchased together before they left for their vacation but had not really had the time to actually live in yet.

"I had Thea and your mom unpack a few things whilst we were away... surprise," Oliver continued, noticing the confused and shocked expression on Felicity's face as she took in her surroundings.

"Unpack a few things? It looks like they've done a little more than that, Oliver," Felicity laughed, gesturing first to the freshly painted staircase and then to the framed photographs on the walls that neither she or Oliver had even thought about printing in the few days before their vacation. They didn't have many pictures together at all yet, so most of the photographs were family ones, and then just one of Oliver and Felicity, one Oliver had sent to Thea of the two of them with their arms around in each other, soaking wet and hysterical with laughter after a failed attempt at surfing lessons on the first week of their trip.

"Okay, I may have given them slightly more detailed instructions of what to do whilst we're away," Oliver replied sheepishly, "I just wanted everything to be perfect when we got home, that's all,"

Felicity gave Oliver's chest a mini punch.

"You are honestly the most adorable person I've ever met," she teased.

"I try my best,"

"You don't. And that's what makes you even more adorable,"

"Shut up," Oliver laughed.

"Wait. Oh my gosh, is Oliver Queen blushing?"

"I hate you so much,"

"He is! Oliver Queen IS blushing! The geeky blonde strikes again!"

"Felicity... remember how ticklish a certain part of your body is?"

"Tickle me all you want, you're still adorable and you still blushed so I still win," Felicity giggled, a triumphant smile on her face.

"Okay, fine, you win. I'm adorable,"

"And you blushed,"

"I did not blush,"

Felicity shrugged her shoulders and gave Oliver a 'sure, whatever' look. Tying her hair up in her trademark ponytail she leaned down to pick up her suitcase.

"I guess these suitcases are the only unpacking we have to do then?" she smiled.

"Yes. Besides, we have other important things to sort out anyway," Oliver added.

"Like?"

"Like deciding which side of the bed is mine and which is yours,"

"Oooh, the serious stuff,"

Oliver chuckled and picked his own suitcase up, then followed Felicity upstairs to their bedroom.

* * *

"Okay, how are we going to do this?"

Oliver and Felicity stood at the end of their bed, eyeing up each side for the pros and cons.

"Well an arm wrestle is out of the question I think because as much as I've always wondered what it would be like to be left handed, I prefer to keep my options open. In fact, on second thought, any kind of physical challenge is out of the question I think,"

"That's a fair point. Although I'm sure there's one physical activity you don't oppose to that I'm sure we could form a challenge out of," Oliver smirked, raising his eyebrow suggestively.

Felicity rolled her eyes.

"You're setting yourself up to fail, pretty boy,"

"Try me,"

"Are you serious? Because if you are, you can wipe that arrogant smile off of your face and get down on your knees to surrender,"

"I was hoping you'd be the one on your knees," Oliver grinned.

"Okay, I set myself up for that one," Felicity laughed, rolling her eyes again.

"Seriously though, name your challenge,"

Felicity thought for a moment.

"Oliver, as much as I'd like to have a battle of wills with you until you give up and can't help but let me win, considering how high the stakes are, I think I'll leave any nakedness out of this. Just because it wouldn't be fair on you, of course," Felicity smiled sweetly, "Because you'd definitely lose..." she added quietly, confidently clicking her tongue.

"Okay so if no nakedness and no physical exertion are your conditions then my conditions are no words with more than 4 syllables and absolutely no computers," Oliver laughed.

"Close your eyes and count to ten. I'm going to hide and if you find me in five minutes then you win. If you don't, I win,"

"You're challenging me to hide and seek?"

"I'm very good at hide and seek,"

There wasn't a hint of humour on Felicity's face, and her deadpan expression was one of the cutest things Oliver had ever seen. Chuckling as he closed his eyes, Oliver began to count and Felicity's giddy squeak as she ran out of the bedroom practically made him weak at the knees. Considering the little amount of time they'd spent in their house thus far, Oliver knew Felicity had a good chance of winning and as competitive as he was, he was glad for that; he was going to let her win anyway, no matter how they ultimately challenged each other. Realising he was still standing in the bedroom with a goofy smile on his face, having stopped counting the second Felicity left the room because he was too immersed in how darling she was, Oliver decided ten seconds was well over and called,

"Ready or not, here I come!"

Standing in the doorway of the bedroom, he held his breath and listened intently, hoping to hear even the slightest sound that would give him an inclination as to where Felicity was hiding. Hearing nothing but silence, Oliver exited the room and headed across the hall.

* * *

Felicity had just crammed herself into a corner of the dining room behind a large indoor plant when she heard Oliver yell the six words every child knows. Giggling softly to herself at how precious he sounded, Felicity tucked herself into a smaller ball and closed her eyes; it was an automatic response whenever she had to hide and be quiet, as though closing her eyes made her invisible, and she'd done it ever since she was a child. She was giddy with excitement at their silly game and it filled her with utter delight to see Oliver smiling at her with such a sincere and childish grin when she'd suggested it. Oliver perpetually had his guard up, and besides Thea who knew her brother inside out, it seemed Felicity was the only one he trusted enough to let it down for the majority of the time they were together. Being out with Oliver and seeing how easily he could intimidate people was almost humorous to Felicity because the Oliver she knew was one of the warmest and sweetest people she'd ever known. Whilst it would probably unnerve even the most fearless of person to know the true volume and nature of Oliver's past, Felicity felt strangely comforted by it; she knew he could and would always protect her, no matter what that meant. Of course, she never forgot how strong and powerful he was and the things he had done over the last three years as The Arrow would terrify her if she let herself think about them for too long, but deep down, everything Oliver did, she knew he did for the greater good and that same goodness was the epitome of his being. Besides, for every person The Arrow had hurt or even killed, he'd saved hundreds, maybe thousands more, and Felicity was one of those people in fact; he'd saved her physically and otherwise on many occasions and she knew he always would.

Felicity interrupted her own internal monologue and took out her phone to check the time. It had been over 10 minutes now since Oliver set off to look for her and her butt was becoming uncomfortably numb on the hardwood floor. She had a feeling Oliver was letting her win; there was no way someone who hunted criminals all over the city on a daily basis wouldn't have found her yet. She was annoyed, only because her initial idea was to let him win anyway. Peeking out from behind the plant, Felicity looked around for any signs that Oliver was, or had been, near. Seeing and sensing nothing she leaned back against the wall again, shuffling slightly to find a more comfortable position. Her grumbling stomach disrupted the silence and Felicity realised she hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning before boarding the plane home. Guessing Oliver could leave her at least another 15 minutes before he "found" her, Felicity smiled as an idea popped into her head.

* * *

Oliver had searched the entire of the upstairs of the house, minus the attic because there's no way Felicity could have climbed up there in the little time she had. It was silly but it left Oliver on edge not knowing where she was, even if they were just playing a game, because as safe as he'd made sure the house was when they'd purchased it, they hadn't lived there long enough for him to be one hundred percent sure. While Felicity was the smartest woman he'd ever met, she also had a way of getting herself into trouble without realising and although he'd been helping her learn a few methods of self defense, he still worried about her. Especially since their relationship had gone public and most of the world knew Felicity Smoak was Oliver Queen's everything; it made her perfect bait for anyone who happened to know Oliver's hidden identity. No matter what was going on in Oliver's life, he would do anything to protect her and it put him in a very vulnerable position sometimes, but it was a position he simply couldn't avoid. Not counting his sister, Felicity was the only person in the world he simply couldn't bear to lose. Just thinking about something bad happening to her made Oliver's heart race and he was about to dash downstairs calling her name when a knock on the front door startled him and made the hair on the back of his neck raise. Anxiety and adrenaline surged through his body as he crept down the stairs, taking them two at a time but making barely any sound. Every muscle in his body was tensed as he reached the door and peering through the peephole, Oliver was surprised to see a young looking boy in a red and blue uniform holding two square boxes standing on the doorstep. Cautiously, Oliver opened the door halfway.

"Good evening, sir. I have two, large double cheese pizzas for Miss Felicity Smoak?"

"I don't think we ordered pizza... who sent you?" Oliver snapped, still suspicious and completely on guard. The fake pizza delivery was the oldest trick in the book in his eyes.

"Um... I'm from Piquant Pizza, sir. It's a few blocks away. We specialise in serving high quality pizzas in-" the delivery boy stuttered an explanation but was cut off before he could finish.

"Bullshit! I asked you who sent you!" Oliver growled, taking a step towards the boy.

"Hi, sorry, the pizza is mine!"

Felicity was suddenly in front of Oliver, smiling apologetically at the delivery boy.

"Felicity?!" Oliver tried to take her hand and pull her back but Felicity snatched it away.

"Oliver, it's fine! I got hungry whilst I was hiding from you and- wait!" she turned quickly back to the delivery boy, "That really isn't what it sounds like, we were just playing hide and seek because we were trying to decide who gets to sleep on which side of the bed and- we just moved in and to settle the debate of who gets which side we decided to play hide and seek and- Okay I'm babbling and I am going to stop in 3, 2, 1... hi, I'm Felicity Smoak and I've ordered pizza from you, please ignore my boyfriend's anxiety, he's a really lovely person usually, I promise,"

Felicity handed over two $20 bills and took the pizzas from an equally terrified and confused looking delivery boy. Taking Oliver's hand, she smiled reassuringly at him.

"Keep the change, and you have yourself a wonderful night," she added before dragging Oliver back into the house and closing the door behind them.

"Felicity, what the hell was that?!" Oliver whispered angrily, not sure if the delivery boy had left yet.

"I ordered pizza, Oliver! You were taking forever to find me so I ordered pizza! I was hungry! So I ordered pizza!" Felicity yelled back, heading stormily towards the kitchen.

"You can't just do that!"

"Do what?! Order pizza to my own house?! Well if that's the case then I think I'll just move back into my apartment, thank you very much,"

"Felicity, you don't unders-"

"No, Oliver, don't you dare tell me that I don't understand. I do understand, okay? I know it's a dangerous world out there and I should be terrified of everything just because you are but I'm sorry, I refuse to live my life that way! You always told me not to let anything get in the way of being happy, so forgive me for wanting to live somewhat normally and order a godforsaken pizza every now and then!"

"I just want to protect you," Oliver replied, now more heartbroken than angry seeing how upset Felicity was getting.

"I know, and I love you for it. But you can't freak out whenever anyone comes near me because if nothing else, that's one way to gain yourself a lot of enemies, and I'm not sure you need anymore. And it's also one way to make me hate you; I've come this far in life completely on my own and I know I would rather learn how to do that all over again than be stuck in a relationship with someone who always wants me in their sight. I'm sorry, Oliver, I know life hasn't been easy for you and it's messed you up big time and I wish more than anything that I could take that away from you, but the way you're acting right now is neither cute nor acceptable. It's simply too much and if I'm honest, you're scaring me a little. So if you don't mind I need to not be here right now and I'm going to go upstairs and run a bubble bath and eat my pizza whilst watching reruns of Sex and the City. Don't worry, I'll check that the windows and doors are locked before I get in and put myself in any unnecessary danger," Felicity snapped sarcastically, charging past Oliver towards the stairs.

Oliver started to call after her but quickly decided against it; he'd only make things worse.

Frustrated with no one but himself, Oliver headed downstairs to the basement to work out, slamming the door loudly as he did so.


	4. Chapter 4

**Writer's block has been rife within me this week and it's honestly ridiculous how many times I sat down at my laptop only to write a few sentences before wanting to scream in frustration. But all of a sudden this afternoon, inspiration came back and I wrote 3000 words in one sitting, so yay! This is the last chapter that follows the script of the show; I really wanted to take it somewhere else and not have to be confined by whatever's happening in the show and I hope I can pull off something decent. In all honesty, I'm usually too lost in the preciousness of Felicity Smoak when I'm watching the show to pay close attention to details so I just know that continuity will always be too much of an issue for me to keep my writing alongside the direction of the show :P Anyway! I hope you enjoy this chapter (it's my favourite so far) and I hope you're enjoying the story as a whole! I wanted to get this chapter up before the season 4 premiere (HOW IS IT ONLY 3 DAYS AWAY ALREADY?)! because I'm just not sure I'll be able to form coherent sentences for awhile after it airs if the trailers are anything to go by! Feel free to leave me a review! xo, Lauren**

* * *

"Felicity?"

"She's not here right now, she's in New York City with Carrie and Samantha,"

Oliver chuckled in spite of himself, hoping her witty and sarcastic remark meant she wasn't as angry anymore.

"Well if Felicity isn't there, can I leave a message with whoever it is in our bathroom right now to tell her that I'm really sorry for being such an idiot?"

"Hmm, I'm not sure, Felicity was really mad when she was here and I'm not sure she wants to talk to anyone or accept any apologies right now,"

Oliver sighed and leaned his head on the bathroom door.

"Well just tell her then that when she's ready, I would really love to talk about everything and apologise properly,"

There was a brief silence before Oliver heard the sound of bare feet on the tiled floor.

"Oliver?" Felicity seemed to be right behind the door now.

"I'm sorry,"

"So am I. I was such a bitch to you earlier and I don't even know why because I know it's not your fault and you only acted the way you did because you love me and I guess I just freaked out a little because no one has ever really loved me as much as you do, especially not someone as strong and beautiful and freaking gorgeous as you anyway and sometimes I-"

"Can I just come in and kiss you please?" Oliver said loudly, interrupting Felicity mid-babble.

"Didn't you say something about apologising properly?"

He couldn't tell if she was teasing, but he decided to give her a sincere answer anyway.

"I did. And I'm so sorry. I know I overreacted and I never meant to upset you so much and I... I love you," His voice got quieter as his sentence progressed and he realised he could never put into words how sorry he was for the way he acted, not just over the pizza but for every time he'd ever emotionally suffocated the people he cared about out of fear of losing them.

Opening the door a little, Felicity smiled at Oliver.

"I love you too, you overprotective idiot,"

Oliver smiled back, a small smile, and began to apologise again before he was stopped by Felicity pressing her forefinger to his lips. He covered the space between them in less than a heartbeat and she was finally wrapped in his arms again, exactly where he'd wanted her to be since they'd fought a couple of hours ago. She was wearing only the soft, white bathroom towel, tucked tightly around her body and Oliver traced his fingers along the bare skin of her upper back which was left uncovered. Her hair was still damp and smelled of strawberries, a scent Oliver had associated with Felicity for as long as he could remember due to the sweet shampoo she used regularly that reminded him of eating Jell-O with ice cream at birthday parties as a child. He didn't know what it was about that moment but all of a sudden, his entire future was crystal clear and the suddenness of his epiphany momentarily knocked the breath out of him. Felicity must have felt it too as not a second later she took hold of his face and looked into his eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, a lot of things made sense all at once just then and it just took me by surprise, that's all," Oliver replied, tracing Felicity's bottom lip with his thumb.

Felicity smiled and trailed her own thumb across Oliver's wrist.

"How about we take a bath and talk about it?" she asked.

"Didn't you just take a bath already?"

"Are you objecting to taking a bath with me, Mr Queen?" she teased, rubbing his stomach gently with her other hand.

"I am definitely not, I just don't want you to turn into a prune from being in the water too long. It's merely your safety I'm questioning, Miss Smoak. I would simply hate for the most valuable, nerdy tech girl to take on the form of a dried fruit," Oliver teased back, loving the way her warm, soft skin felt against his.

"You don't think I'd look good as a prune? I think I'd make quite an alluring one if I do say so myself,"

Felicity pulled a face at Oliver, one he guessed she meant to be an offended one, one so absolutely adorable he just couldn't help but pull her back into his chest again. Feeling her relax completely into him never failed to give Oliver goosebumps.

"Lets just shut up and get back in there before the water goes cold," Oliver laughed after a few moments of holding her as close to him as space and time would allow.

"Shotgun not having the tap end," Felicity giggled, pulling out of Oliver's embrace with a chaste kiss to his chest.

"Shotgun right side of the bed," Oliver responded, winking at her.

"Fine with me,"

"If I'd known you were this easy to compromise with, we would never have to have played hide and seek!"

"Hide and seek is a vital part of every relationship in my opinion," Felicity laughed, climbing into the bath and unwrapping her towel to drop it on the floor before submersing herself in the warm, vanilla scented water.

Chuckling, Oliver followed suit, removing his clothes and sinking his body under the bath water. As the water stilled around them, Oliver noticed Felicity smiling intently at him.

"What are you thinking about?" he questioned.

"That I was so right about you being adorable," she replied, matter of factly, her smile widening.

Oliver felt himself blush slightly at her teasing compliment and took the opportunity to hide his face by turning himself around and settling his body against hers, his head leaning on her chest and his hands trailing along her thighs under the water. Felicity sighed audibly and kissed the top of Oliver's head.

"So, those things that just made sense to you?" she asked, quietly after a few minutes of comfortable silence, the only sound the occasional movement of the water as their hands found new ways of exploring each other's skin.

"There's a lot of them," Oliver replied, his eyes closed, enjoying simply being close to Felicity this way.

"Go ahead, it'll make a change for you to be the one speaking for minutes at a time without pausing," she laughed, kissing the top of his head again.

"Difference is, I think I'll remember to breathe more often than you when I'm talking,"

"That's not exactly difficult," Felicity giggled, moving her hands to his shoulders, beginning to massage them softly whilst Oliver gathered his thoughts.

Oliver relaxed deeper into her chest and tried to think of a place to start. He was unlike Felicity in that he never spoke without careful consideration, except of course in the heat of a moment when his anger and insecurity sometimes took over the filter in his mind. He envied the way she was able to say whatever was on her mind, whether she intended to or not, and he more than admired her openness and her ability to trust almost anyone easily. While those exact personality traits made her extremely vulnerable, Oliver couldn't help but think it was a fair price to pay for emotional expression, as opposed to his tendency to bottle everything up and take it out on himself before inevitably breaking down and letting everything out, usually in a self destructive way. For once, Oliver tried to adopt Felicity's way of thinking, and to the best of his ability, began to speak without much pre-meditating at all.

"I don't want to do it anymore, Felicity. Be The Arrow, I mean. I just want to keep my somewhat normal job at Queen Consolidated and spend my evenings taking my girlfriend on dates or watching mindless TV shows or loading and emptying the dishwasher instead of firing arrows at bad guys. It was fulfilling whilst it lasted but it's served its purpose now and I'm tired of feeling like I'm always running from something or someone. You know, ever since I left the island, I told myself I'd be different than I was before. And by before, I mean the obnoxious little rich boy who got drunk and got laid and not much else. Being away for 5 years made me see a lot of things differently. I thought saving the world was the answer but it's not, Felicity, it's really not and I still feel like the same Oliver most of the time, with a big ego and the audacity to believe I'm more special than any other human on earth. I don't regret the last few years one bit because they brought me to you; you're the only good thing to come out of all of it. But I've lost so much, pretty much everyone I ever truly cared about. You and Thea are the only two people left who could be taken from me and I mean, Thea already was once and I still don't know if I've processed what happened to her and who she is now, and I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her again. And I can't even think about anything happening to you without wanting to make myself disappear forever. None of it is worth anymore, not one bit of it, and I just want to start over from here on out. Whatever it takes to start fresh, I want it all. But most of all I want us, always. You're the only thing that makes sense, the only thing that has made sense for a very long time, and every time you've ever thanked me for saving your life, you were saving mine. When I'm with you, I lose the old me almost completely and that's always been so, ever since the day we met. Everything you said to me earlier, regardless of whether you insist you didn't mean it, was true and I needed to hear it from you, because from anyone else it wouldn't have meant the same thing. I'm tired of being scared, Felicity, and I don't even know if I'm making sense anymore but this is right. This right here, is right, it makes sense. Whenever I'm with you, I'm home, and I'd never felt at home anywhere until I fell in love with you,"

Felicity didn't realise she was crying until Oliver stopped speaking, the sudden silence making her aware of the tears that had been silently falling down her cheeks for awhile. Her hands were still on Oliver's shoulders, only now she was gripping them tightly, afraid that if she let go this beautiful man would somehow disappear.

"Oliver, I-" she tried to speak but words failed her.

"Sssshshhh, it's okay, you don't have to say anything," Oliver said quickly, sitting up and turning to face her.

Noticing her tears, he traced his thumb along her cheek, catching the falling salt water with his skin. The slight contact was all it took for Felicity to lose it, and she was barely aware of what was happening before she grasped Oliver's face and pulled it to her own, slamming their mouths together quicker and harder than ever before. Her fingernails dug deeply into the skin of Oliver's back from the strength of which she held him against her as they kissed, his hands gripping her around her waist with practically the same force. Felicity's heartbeat began to quicken and she couldn't think of anything else besides her need to be closer to him, despite the fact that their bodies were already pressed tightly together.

Breathless, she pulled her mouth from his and let the sudden rush of oxygen dizzy her.

"I don't want to do this here," she whispered, her sentence fractured by her body's attempt to refill her lungs with air.

"You don't?" Oliver was equally as breathless.

"The water is in the way, I can't feel you properly," she responded, taking Oliver's hand and standing up, pulling him with her.

They climbed out of the bath together and headed for the bedroom, dripping water everywhere as they went, too preoccupied with anticipation to notice, gripping tightly to each other's hand.

* * *

They'd barely made it through the bedroom door before Felicity turned abruptly and collided with Oliver, eager to have her mouth on his again. This kiss was unlike any Felicity had ever experienced before. She'd never felt need and desire like this and even though her tears had subsided, she felt sure they would appear again soon if she was unable to release some of the tension building in the pit of her stomach.

"Oliver, I need you," she gasped, breaking their kiss for as little time as possible.

"I'm here, always," Oliver whispered back, picking her up and wrapping her legs around him.

Felicity worked her mouth against his neck as he walked them over to the bed, the moans escaping her throat completely uncontrollable. She wasn't sure if the wetness between her legs was remaining bath water or her own desire but the sensation of it against Oliver's stomach increased the tightness in her lower belly and she couldn't help but squirm in his arms, trying to press her hips forward against his skin even more. Climbing onto the bed, Oliver laid her down underneath him and began to ravish her chest with his mouth, working his way down her body leaving Felicity writhing with need that just seemed to keep on increasing when she thought it had reached its peak. Finally his mouth reached the bottom of her torso, her hips keening to meet his mouth as he kissed and sucked between her thighs. She curled her fingers into his hair, pressing his face down into her as his tongue licked through her desire and she knew she was seconds away from orgasm.

"Wait, I can't- I want you- Please- oh fuck!" she tried to form a sentence but words once again failed her and she felt the tension in the pit of her stomach begin to uncurl.

Screaming Oliver's name as she came, Felicity's climax ripped through her body unlike anything she'd ever felt before and she was sure that if her eyes were open, she would've seen stars. Her entire body felt as though it was on fire as Oliver rested his tongue against her clit as her orgasm began to fade, a seemingly impossible amount of time later. Uncurling her fingers from his hair, she felt him smile into her and her stomach fluttered, desire already beginning to pool deep inside her again.

"You are so beautiful when you come," Oliver growled, gazing into her eyes, leaning forwards to meet her mouth again.

She blushed slightly, her already pink cheeks flushing even more. Oliver pressed his lips to hers and slid his tongue inside her mouth, letting her taste herself. Her back arched as Oliver's knee pushed between her legs, opening them up for him. She was already breathless again, her body begging to have him inside her. He didn't make her wait too long before he slipped into her, making sure to stroke her still sensitive clit with his length as he did so, making her cry out with a mixture of pleasure and pain. Sensing her discomfort he leaned forward and kissed the end of her nose, giving her some time to relax again by tracing patterns along her chest with his mouth for awhile.

"I'm okay," she smiled after awhile, reaching her arms tightly around his waist to pull him closer.

After receiving the consent he'd been waiting for, he let himself fill her completely, her moans arousing him more than he thought was possible. Knowing it wouldn't take much for him to reach his release, he instead focused on Felicity, desperate to get her to orgasm again, with him this time. He adored how responsive she was; his every touch seemed to ignite something inside her and she moaned his name loudly, endless times. Everything about the relationship they shared felt different after he'd opened up to her in the bath, as though the few remaining guards between them had finally been knocked down and they each knew exactly how the other felt. Oliver sensed that he'd never be afraid to open up again, not to her anyway, because the strength increase in their connection was undeniable and the most magical sensation he had ever experienced.

"Oliver, please," Felicity moaned, her hips bucking against him, her breathing elevated.

"Tell me what you want," Oliver whispered, her plea taking him right to the edge of orgasm.

"I want you to come with me," she begged.

Feeling her walls tighten around him, he couldn't hold back anymore. Oliver came loudly, crying out her name, his muscles failing him as pleasure consumed his every thought causing him to fall onto her chest as she followed suit, his orgasm the trigger for her own. Her arms cradled around his neck as she exploded around him and it was all too evident in her racing heartbeat that she simply couldn't imagine life without Oliver anymore. He filled her in every sense of the word and the only thing she wanted for the rest of her life was him.

"You know, you were wrong about one thing you said earlier," she breathed, once she was able to form coherent sentences again a little time later.

"Hmmm?" Oliver replied, his voice muffled against the warm skin of her chest.

"You _are_ more special than any other human on earth. Maybe not in the most general sense, but to me, absolutely,"

Oliver smiled and pressed a soft kiss to her chest.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Felicity whispered back, feeling for perhaps the first time that they were equally as infatuated with each other as she'd always hoped they were.

"Was I right about everything else then?" Oliver asked, and his tone made Felicity unsure whether he wanted a serious answer or not.

"Especially about this being the only thing that makes sense," she replied, "And maybe about the big ego part too," she added, teasing, giving him both a serious answer and a not so serious one.

Oliver laughed and sat up to look down at her. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey hi I'm still alive and so is this story, I promise. SO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF UPDATE, and thank you so much for being patient with me! I hope you like this chapter; it's a steamy one and I hope it makes up for the 6/7 week wait you've have to endure... I swear I will never go that long without updating again. I hope you like this and feel free to leave me a review! xo, Lauren**

* * *

The smell of pancakes and the sound of soft singing woke Felicity from her slumber. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes and stretching, she let her body sink into the silky, white bed sheets, pulling them up tightly underneath her chin. Smiling, she closed her eyes again and, just like everyday, inhaled the delicious peace of morning.

Through the slightly parted curtains over the French doors at the other side of the room, bright, beaming sunlight poured into the room, projecting gorgeous light onto everything. Just on the other side of the doors, the city had been awake for hours, the constant hum of traffic and the murmurs of hundreds of conversations all at once an ever-present reminder that as humans we are never alone. Nothing delighted Felicity quite like waking up like this every morning, quiet and safe inside her bed but never far away from the hustle and bustle of the city she'd grown to love with all her heart.

Not too long later, after enjoying a few more moments of peaceful reflection in bed, Felicity stretched again and leaned down to pick up her t-shirt from the floor. Slipping it over her head and then putting on her glasses, she padded across the bedroom and out into the hall.

The kitchen door was open and from her spot in the hall by the top of the stairs, Felicity could now definitely hear Oliver singing to the radio. Knowing Oliver, he'd have been awake for hours already, Felicity thought. By the time she awoke most mornings Oliver had usually already had breakfast, ran 5 miles, lifted weights for an hour and sometimes had even dropped by the office to organise tasks for the day ahead. Smiling to herself at the sound of Oliver's attempt at a high note in a familiar 80s disco classic, Felicity made her way downstairs, tying up her hair as she did so.

As she entered the kitchen, Oliver looked up and beamed at her, something which never failed to make Felicity's heart skip a beat.

"Good morning! I was just about to bring you pancakes," he smiled, gesturing to the table which was decorated with vanilla scented candles and a crisp, white cloth.

"What's the occasion?" Felicity asked, taking a seat at the table which Oliver held out for her.

"There's no occasion, I just like making you breakfast," he replied, matter-of-factly, leaning down to kiss the top of her head as she made herself comfortable.

Taking a seat opposite her, Oliver continued to grin at her as she began to eat her breakfast.

"Okay seriously, what is up with you this morning? You've been grinning ever since I came down and whilst it's absolutely adorable, it's making me nervous,"

"Nothing is up! I'm just excited for your first day at Palmer Tech, that's all! I wanted to make sure you had a good breakfast aaaaand..." Oliver stood up quickly and headed over to the refrigerator. "I made you lunch!" he smiled, producing a sandwich box.

"You made me lunch?" Felicity smiled back, turning to face Oliver and leaning her cheek against the back of the chair.

"Yep, I made you lunch,"

"No one has made me lunch since middle school!" Felicity laughed.

"Well, consider yourself spoiled," Oliver teased.

"Oh, I do," Felicity mumbled, pulling Oliver towards her by the hem of his shirt.

Taking his face in her hands, Felicity pressed a kiss first to Oliver's forehead and then to his lips.

"Thank you," she smiled against his mouth.

"You're welcome," Oliver replied, kissing her back softly.

Felicity slid her hands to the back of his neck and rubbed circles into the top of his spine with her index finger.

"Would it make me a bad boss if I stayed home and made out with you all day instead of going into work?" she mumbled, smiling.

"It would, I'm afraid," Oliver laughed, sweeping a strand of her hair from where it had fallen onto her face.

"I guess I should go get dressed then," Felicity sighed, overdramatically, standing up from the table.

She'd barely taken a step before Oliver's hands were on her hips, pulling her against him.

"I'm sure you have five more minutes," he said against her neck, his voice muffled due to the kisses he was pressing against it.

Felicity sighed audibly and let her arms wind around to Oliver's back, curling his shirt between her fingers as he continued to tease her neck with his mouth. His arms wound around her waist, slipping underneath her camisole to trace the warm, bare skin of her back. Her fingers tangled in his hair as she felt his teeth nip along her collarbones, sliding the strap from her shirt down so it wasn't in the way. His mouth trailed from her right collarbone to her right shoulder, moans escaping her throat as his tongue darted in and out against her skin. She felt his hands slide down her back, glide over her pyjama shorts and then dip underneath their hem, his strong fingers squeezing her ass hard. She was vaguely aware that she had just 40 minutes before she had to be at the office and she tried to will herself to push him back but the feeling of his hands against her was one she could never get enough of. Sliding her own hands back around to his front she rubbed his chest and then gently pulled his face back up from her shoulders to meet her lips again. As their tongues collided, Oliver's hands continued to do wonderful things to her ass and she knew right then that if she didn't stop this now, she'd never get to work on time.

"Oliv... I reall... I have to..." Three attempts at a sentence of objection and she caved against his touch again, her hips pressing into him as he squeezed her behind particularly hard.

An animal-like growl escaped his throat into her mouth as she pushed her hips against him and Felicity was all too aware of how aroused he was. Sliding her hands down his chest again, she continued to move them lower, over his abdomen before they arrived at the waistband of his pyjama pants. She dipped her fingertips under the waistband, dangerously close to his errection before darting them back out again to stroke him over the fabric of his pants. His mouth dropped from hers to nibble her shoulder again, a low moan emerging from his throat that sounded like her name. Moving her hand back up to the waistline of his pants and sliding her fingers underneath the fabric for the second time earned her another moan and the feeling of his teeth sinking into her shoulder hard. Sudden soreness mixed with her desire radiated from where his mouth was and she momentarily forgot her intention, losing herself in one of her favourite sensations; the thin line between pleasure and pain. She moaned his name and leaned into him, reminding her hands of their motive, roaming them down to take hold of his arousal. Beginning to move her hand rhythmically back and forth along his length, his hot breath hitting the skin of her neck in short bursts, Felicity pressed kisses to the taut muscle of his shoulders, feeling his fingers dig into the skin of her lower back as she continued to jerk him off. After a few seconds she used her free hand to intertwine her fingers with his, causing his grip on her skin to loosen just enough for her to kiss her way down his chest to his abdomen, dropping swiftly to her knees as she reached his navel. Uncurling her fingers from around his errection to take hold of the waistband of his pants, Felicity danced her other hand up along his thigh to his hip, using both hands to pull the elastic and slip the fabric down. Once the fabric was out of the way, Felicity's hands moved to grab his ass as she took his length into her mouth, scraping her teeth softly along him as she did so, his fingers tangling in her hair pulling her closer towards him. His moans grew louder as she continued to work his cock with her mouth and before too long he was thrusting deep into her mouth, her lack of gag reflex something she was always increasingly proud of and grateful for. Nothing turned Felicity on like having Oliver fuck her mouth like this; it was a kind of pleasure and desire she could never put into words. She relished in the control she had over him and ached low in her stomach whenever she looked up and saw him gazing down at her as she ran her tongue and lips back and forth along him. Sensing he was close to climax, she leaned back a little, running her tongue along his tip for a few seconds before the tell-tale sign that he was moments away from orgasm started to trickle from it. Taking him wholly in her mouth one more time, her tongue running right the way along the underside of him was all it took for Oliver to come undone and explode in her mouth. His fingers tangled even tighter in her hair as he emptied into her, crying out her name like she was the one who put the stars in the sky. Swallowing hard and lapping up every last drop of his ejaculation, Felicity licked her lips and pressed a soft kiss to his tip again, before sitting back and smiling up at him, her eyes dark and hooded, running her fingers through her blonde locks in what she always hoped was alluring but was never completely sure. She watched his face intently, fascinated by the way he watched her back, his eyes clearly focused on her mouth. She licked her lips again and then ran her tongue along her teeth before turning her angelic smile into a smug and satisfied one. Uncurling her legs from under her, Felicity took hold of the waistband of his pants again and lifted them back up as she stood, rubbing her hands over his ass once more before pressing a kiss to his lips.

"I have to get ready for work," she smiled, confidently, in love with the dazed and slightly hungry look on his face.

Slapping his behind once, Felicity turned on her heels and headed back across the kitchen to the stairs.

She'd only just reached the bottom of the stairs before she felt Oliver's hands on her hips, stopping her in her tracks. He turned her to him and pulled her body against his, slamming their mouths together in a slow and passionate kiss.

"You are fucking amazing," he mumbled against her mouth after a minute or two of uninterrupted kissing.

"I knoooow, and I am also going to be fucking late for work if you don't let me go," she laughed with a wink, stretching the word know out for 3 or 4 seconds.

"Just you wait until you get home," Oliver whispered, low and deep into her ear, making Felicity moan softly against cheek.

"I look forward to it," she whispered back, practically skipping up the stairs to get ready for work.


	6. Chapter 6

**I couldn't help myself and spent another afternoon writing and voila! I actually have another chapter not 24 hours after posting the last one! This is one of my favourites so far and I'm so excited to write the next one; you'll see why once you get to the end of this ;) This was a hard chapter to write actually because I wanted to do Felicity's story justice (which the show has yet to do...) but I feel like there's so much I missed out even now. I'll definitely be coming back to it again soon because I can't bear to leave things out that I truly believe are vital to her character development. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Fell free to leave me a review! xo, Lauren**

* * *

Felicity's phone vibrated on her desk around 2pm and she picked up without checking to see who was calling.

"Felicity?" a familiar female voice questioned once she'd accepted the call.

"Mom?"

"I was just calling to see how you are!" Her voice was loud and overly enthusiastic and Felicity moved her phone away from her ear a little.

"Mom, you don't have to shout, I can hear you. And I'm fine, I'm just at work right now though so I can't really talk much," she replied, placing her phone onto loudspeaker so she could continue to type as they talked.

"So you and Oliver are home? How was your vacation?"

"We got back a few days ago, and it was wonderful. Thank you for helping to sort out the house while we were gone," Felicity smiled, thinking of just how touched and relieved she'd been to return home after a long haul flight and not have to worry about unpacking. "Especially the pictures and the oversized wine rack; those were lovely touches,"

"You're welcome, sweetheart," her mother responded, a warm smile in her voice.

"We'll invite you over for dinner sometime it's just that everything is really hectic right now with work and stuff so it's not a good time," Felicity stuttered, sensing that her mother was waiting for an invitation to come over and that it was the exact reason for her phone call.

"Of course! I wouldn't be a bother though, if you have an evening free this week," she persisted, keeping her tone warm but slightly authoritative.

"I know, but we've barely had time to live there ourselves yet. Maybe you could come over for the weekend sometime in a month or so? Maybe for a few days before Christmas?" As much as Felicity loved her mother, she didn't want anyone bursting her bubble of happiness with Oliver just yet, especially not inside their own home.

She heard her mother sigh and tried to push the wash of guilt from her mind. She would not let herself be guilt tripped into doing something she really didn't want to do, just to save her feelings.

"Oh okay then, I can tell when I'm not wanted," her mother sighed, and Felicity wasn't sure if she was genuinely offended or just trying to make her feel bad.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I have to go, I'll call you later and we can talk more," Felicity hung up before she could let herself be swayed into an agreement and called Oliver straight away, her gut telling her that her mother was likely to call him as well to ask the same question.

Oliver answered after a few seconds.

"Hey, what's up?" he asked, his voice low and slightly breathless.

"Did I interrupt your workout?" Felicity replied, apologetically.

"You did, but I'd always rather talk to you anyway," she could hear his smile in his voice.

"Are you like, really sweaty right now?"

"What if I am?" he teased.

"Wait, don't tell me. I didn't call to have mild phone sex, I swear," Felicity laughed, adjusting her glasses on her nose, feeling her cheeks warm involuntarily at the thought of him sweaty and shirtless in the gym.

She heard him chuckling to himself and the sound made her smile.

"You didn't?"

"No, I called to warn you that my mom wants to come over for dinner sometime soon. I just told her that it isn't a great time right now but I have a feeling she might call you and ask you as well so just please, tell her we can't right now, okay?"

"Why? We have a spare evening, I'm sure,"

"Oliver, I just don't want her coming over into our space right now, not when we've barely had time to live in it ourselves. I'm having too much fun keeping you all to myself right now to have other people coming over even for five minutes. Remember how mad you were at me about the pizza thing? Well that's how mad I'd be at you if you said my mom could come over," she snapped, suddenly aware of how wound up by this she was.

Oliver noticed too and questioned her.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked, his voice quiet and concerned.

"I'm fine, I just- can I talk to you about this later? I have a lot to get done this afternoon and I'm stressed enough already without having to ramble on about my mommy and daddy issues," she replied, laughing dryly without a trace of humour.

"Of course, but you're okay right? You're not going to freak out or breakdown in the next few hours are you? Because if you are then I'm coming to get you and we're going out for lunch,"

"I'm fine, I promise. I just wish you weren't the only one who'd got off this morning I guess, I might not be so tense right now if there had been time for you to return the favour," This time when she laughed, her humour had returned and she knew Oliver was either rolling his eyes, biting his lip, or both.

"Well after we've talked tonight, I'll get you off as many times as you wish," he replied, matter-of-factly and she had every faith that he meant every word he said.

"I look forward to it," she smirked, repeating her exact words from this morning.

"I love you," he said, after a few seconds of soft laughter.

"I love you too. And thank you for lunch, by the way. I enjoyed the fruit salad you so lovingly prepared more than you could understand," she smiled.

"You're welcome, I'm glad it was to your liking! Try and enjoy the rest of your afternoon and don't work too hard, okay? Remember why you're doing this deep down and try to understand that nothing that happens is the end of the world," she could hear him smile again and her heart fluttered in her chest at his words.

"Apart from an apocalypse, because you know, that is basically the definition of the end of the world," she replied, unable to stop herself from making a sarcastic comment she knew would make him laugh.

"Well so far today there's been no apocalypse warning so for the next 12 hours at least, nothing is the end of the world,"

"Thank you, honestly. I'll see you soon,"

He responded with his own goodbyes and Felicity ended the call before turning back to her computer. Removing her glasses, she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples for a few seconds, trying to return her head to the work she had to do. Oliver was right; nothing that happened was the end of the world, but in Felicity's brain, it had the tendency to feel like it. He was also right about how she needed to remind herself of why she was doing this. She was doing this for Ray, to honour his legacy and keep his brilliant brain alive. It was important to her, beyond words. It was something she wanted to do with all her heart and she had vowed to herself the very day she became CEO of Palmer Tech, to never let it become "work", at least not to the extent where she questioned her ability to do a good job. In doing this, Ray was never really gone.

* * *

It was after 8pm when Felicity finally felt close to being able to go home. Her afternoon had gone surprisingly quickly and without too much cause for too many heightened emotions and tempers, both on her part and that of her employees. She'd spent a large part of the afternoon familiarising herself with them, visiting each of their work spaces to introduce herself personally and chatting to them for a few minutes, determined to be the kind of boss whose employees weren't afraid to come to her if ever they had anything they needed to talk about. She'd had a dream a few weeks ago where she morphed into Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada, barking orders at everyone who worked for her and never taking the time to care about them as people, and had woken up in a cold sweat. She'd thought back to places she'd worked in the past; from her time as a waitress part-time whilst she was at college, her roles at Queen Consolidated, to her sales assistant position at Tech Village, about what was missing at each occupation, and a recurring theme amongst them all (except her position as Oliver's assistant), was a lack of trust and compassion in her relationships with her bosses. And above most things, trust was something Felicity had grown to realise was the foundation of any relationship; personal, professional or otherwise. Which is why she'd made it her goal for the rest of the year to build good relationships with her colleagues, hoping that for probably the first time in their occupational lives, they could have not only a boss who signed and authorized their paychecks, but one who said hello to them in every passing and asked how they were doing, pausing to really listen to their reply.

Pulling up her schedule for tomorrow, Felicity was pleased to find that her first meeting wasn't until 10:15am, meaning she could almost definitely sleep in a little. She'd got a lot of things done that afternoon that were on the agenda for tomorrow, so even though it would only be her second day at the office, she had no reason to feel guilty for being all too excited at the prospect of a morning that started just an hour or two before lunch.

Most of the people who worked on her floor had already left for the day and the quiet that had fallen across the building unnoticed by Felicity until now left her feeling pleasant and satisfied somehow. Now that she was aware of the almost silence, the clicking of her computer keyboard acted as a reminder that she should be heading home. After turning off her computer and collecting her phone and keys from her desk, Felicity took a few minutes to just breathe. Absentmindedly drifting to how vastly her life had changed over the last year, she found herself feeling profoundly peaceful. There was a routine forming, she could tell, one that she knew would keep her perfectly content for the rest of her life. Breakfast and dinner with Oliver every morning and night was the part of the routine she was most looking forward to, but the job satisfaction and promises of good friendships with the people around her excited her almost as much. All of this was her life now, and all of a sudden, everything that had happened to her in her life made absolutely perfect sense.

Pushing her chair out from her desk and standing up, Felicity switched off her office lights and locked the door behind her, calling a goodnight to the janitor who was unraveling the vacuum cord across the hall before stepping into the elevator and making her way down to the ground floor.

* * *

She had barely been home 5 seconds before Oliver's hands were around her waist, a kiss planted firmly on her lips. Pressing her forehead against his chest, Felicity smiled.

"I missed you," she whispered, kissing his neck softly.

A low hum followed by a kiss to the top of her head was his reply and she guessed it meant that he'd missed her too.

"How was your afternoon?" Oliver asked after a few moments of quiet as they embraced each other.

"Good, actually. I mean, I didn't freak out once and I got a huge chunk of tomorrow's work done so there's no reason I need to be in before my first meeting at 10:15 in the morning," she smiled as he unwrapped his arms from around her and leaned back against the wall as she took off her coat and shoes.

"You've survived your first day particularly well then," he smiled back, his eyes full of pride.

"I guess! And there were no apocalypses, so you were right, nothing that happened today was the end of the world," Felicity grinned, reaching up on her tiptoes to press a kiss on his mouth before heading into the living room.

"Your mom called, by the way," Oliver said as she curled up on the couch, tucking her legs underneath her and covering her lap with a blanket.

Felicity rolled her eyes and sighed.

"I told you she would! I knew she just wouldn't be able to leave it,"

Oliver took a seat beside her and Felicity scooted over and leaned her head against his chest as naturally as if she'd done it every single day of her life. He didn't say anything for awhile, just silently started twirling her ponytail while she thought to herself.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked once he felt her breathing soften, her body relaxing completely into him.

Sighing, Felicity sat up and leaned back against the back of the couch. Oliver took her hand and began tracing circles into her palm.

"I hate how she makes me feel, Oliver. I love her to death and I swear I'd take a bullet for her in a heartbeat but she just makes me feel like shit. Everything she says, I know she means well, but- fuck, see this is what I mean! I can't even have a conversation about how she makes me feel without feeling obligated to reassure myself and anyone around me that she's a good person deep down. I felt responsible for so fucking much that happened with my parents when I was a kid and I've just carried that with me my whole life and-" she stopped mid-sentence and exhaled deeply.

Oliver squeezed her hand tightly but kept quiet.

"It sounds so dumb out loud, all of this. This is why I never talk about it," she said quietly after awhile.

"It's okay," Oliver whispered. "I promise, none of this sounds dumb in the slightest,"

Felicity gave Oliver a grateful smile and reached up to untie the hairband that was holding her hair back. Letting her hair fall down around her shoulders, she leaned her head back and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Oliver ached to pull her into his arms but he knew she needed a little space to breathe and think or she'd never get whatever was upsetting her off of her mind.

"I've spent the last 15 years of my life analysing practically every single second of my life, obsessively, nearly every night before I fall asleep. And every time I feel like I'm close to figuring out why things happened the way they did, I think of something else and have to start all over again. It's so hard to explain but I really want to explain it to someone,"

Oliver smiled softly and kissed her temple lightly, reassuring her once again that it was okay.

"Even before my dad left, my family was weird," she began, the slightest hint of humour in her voice at her opening sentence disappearing almost as soon as it had emerged. "For as long as I can remember, it just always felt like we were never really in the same place, you know? Like there was always this sheet of glass between us, stopping us from ever being close to each other. And in a way, when my dad left I was happy because I thought it would make my mom and I closer. But it didn't, she just pushed me even further away. It was around then that I decided I'd just focus on school, I think. Studying never made me feel bad, because I was good at it. I could close the door and open my book and not think about anything else for hours. Before you go thinking that my mom neglected me, she didn't, not physically anyway. I mean, she kept a roof over my head and cooked my dinner every night and gave me money for new books and stuff. I guess I'd just have given all that up for her to hug me every now and then,"

She went quiet and sighed, her eyes closing again as she tried to summon up the strength to continue without crying.

"You never really can understand what not being held does to a child..." she mused, and Oliver wondered whether she'd meant to say that sentence out loud.

"I love you," he whispered, unable to stop the words slipping from his mouth.

She opened her eyes and smiled, a heartbreakingly small smile, squeezing his hand in response before continuing to talk.

"I blamed myself for my dad leaving, I blamed myself for the distance between my mom and I, I blamed myself for everything, and I had no one telling me I was wrong, you know? So the blame kind of just stuck. Anytime anything bad happened, it was like my brain was wired to pin the blame on me. So if ever I felt shitty about something, my automatic response was to think, ' _it's your own fault, so quit being a baby about it'._ I invalidated my every feeling, Oliver, and looking back, I don't know how I even lived with myself sometimes because I just always felt so fucking awful about everything. I messed myself up so bad for no reason, simply because I just didn't have anyone to talk to besides the stream of consciousness inside my head. And then, of course, I started to have anxiety attacks all the time. I mean, there's no wonder in hindsight, but at the time it was yet another thing I blamed myself for. I had every intention of never telling anyone how bad it was, and I would have kept that intention if it wasn't for my mom coming home early and finding me sobbing and practically clawing at myself one night. That sounded psycho, I know- I just did that sometimes. Like you know when the noise in your head is just so loud and it feels like you're suffocating from the inside out? I just had no other way of channeling my anger, so I took it out on myself. Anyway, it was weird, my mom seeing me like that. And just for that one night, I feel like she saw me for the first time and realised that none of it had been easy on me. That's when I started going to therapy I think. But like I've said before, it didn't help much at all and I knew it was expensive so I told my mom I was feeling better and that was that. I told her it was down to being nervous about moving away to college and she was eager to believe that so we could go back to how we were before. I think it made her uncomfortable, being around me in more than a superficial way. It sounds so mean to say that but I just mean that we existed around each other our whole lives and got used to never talking about more than stuff, so to have to acknowledge each other's feelings... I guess it was weird for both of us. When you live a certain way for so long, you just learn to accept that that's the way it will always be, I guess.,"

Oliver pressed several soft kisses to her temple again as she spoke, swallowing back the lump in his throat, unable to find any words he thought would even come close to making her understand how strong and brave he thought she was in that moment.

"Things started to get better though, I swear my whole life isn't that depressing. I found myself a lot in college and I made real friends- well, friends who were real at the time anyway. My mom was different too once I'd moved away; part of me likes to think that maybe my not being there made her miss me. And while things were never perfect by a long shot, whenever I came home for the holidays, we did stuff together. We started going to the movies or grabbing coffee before she went to work, just little stuff like that we'd never done before. We talked more, never about how we felt about what had happened, but about how we felt about each other I guess. And after that I started to see things differently and I slowly stopped blaming myself for every single thing that went wrong. I don't know how I did it, even now, but I did. Maybe it's one of those things that happens as you get older, you stop being so fucking hard on yourself... I don't know. I know now, that none of what happened to me or my mom was my fault deep down, and that life is just a fucking bitch sometimes, it just took a long time for me to get here. And even though I know that, I truly know it, it still affects me, you know? I'm the most pathetically jealous sociopath in my head sometimes, I've just learned to understand that what my head assumes, isn't always the truth. I've come a long way, but it still hurts, and I will always hate how much of my life I lost believing I was to blame for everything that went wrong. And I've just literally never talked about it to anyone until now and I think that in essence is the only thing truly wrong with anything,"

Felicity was suddenly aware of how long she'd talked without much pause, and how quiet and intently Oliver had listened beside her. Glancing over at him was all it took for the tears she'd been holding back to fall. Before she could even sob she was in his arms, wrapped tightly against his chest, soft kisses in her hair. He held her there for a long time as she cried, stroking her back and hair, whispering endlessly that everything was okay and that he was there, always.

Felicity couldn't find words for what she was feeling. Her emotions were a mixed up bundle of juxtapositions; somehow she was empty and whole, happy and sad, exhausted and revitalised all at the same time.

"Can you believe that the whole time I was talking I was reminding myself constantly to be brief?" she said after awhile once her tears had stopped and her breathing had returned to normal.

Oliver smiled, his smile growing even further as she lifted her head up from his chest and he saw that she was grinning too.

"You have no idea how much I love you," he whispered, pulling her face to his to kiss her hard on the mouth.

"If it's anything close to how much I love you, then it's a lot," Felicity smiled.

"How the hell have you made it this far in life without talking to anyone about any of that?" Oliver asked, tracing her right cheekbone with the side of his thumb.

"I've just never met anyone I allowed myself to trust. I've never met anyone who made me believe that I'm worth sticking around forever for. Until you,"

Oliver pulled her to his chest again, holding her there, feeling her heart against his, suddenly struck by how much trust she must have in him and how difficult it must have been for her to let herself be loved.

"You are home to me," she whispered against his neck. "When I have you, I have everything,"

It was another of those times where Oliver wasn't sure if she was aware that she'd spoken out loud and not just in her head. Oliver couldn't respond anyway, all he could do was pull her closer and try not to think about the moment when, for whatever reason, he'd have to let go.

They stayed like that for a long time, long enough that had Oliver not grown perfectly attuned to Felicity's breathing over the last few months, he would have almost definitely thought she'd fallen asleep. Pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head earned him the most heartwarming smile he'd ever seen before their mouths met again. Oliver intended on keeping the kiss gentle and slow but Felicity seemed to have other ideas, sucking first on his bottom lip and then on his tongue, pressing herself into him with all the strength she had. Breaking apart for air a minute or so later she smiled devilishly and looked up at him, fluttering her eyelashes. Running her tongue along her teeth she said,

"Now, didn't you say something earlier about getting me off as many times as I liked tonight?"


End file.
